The UK Charity Sector is a unique and special place. We attract passionate, committed, values led professionals who want nothing more than to create a better world for a better world’s sake – they are my tribe!
But when does our selfless nature get in the way of achieving our missions? When might we benefit from a more balanced view of selfishness? When we think of charity workers – and I include our army of volunteers in this – what words might spring to mind? Selfless? Sacrifice? Aid? Help? Give? Altruism? Save? Rescue?
What do these words have in common? I suggest they all point to a commitment to, and a focus on, something outside of our own self-interest. Even if we’ve been touched personally by a cause, we are often driven by preventing others from going through the same experience.
Fighting cancer, ending poverty, battling prejudice, saving animals and habitats, supporting grieving parents; all praiseworthy missions and something we should be incredibly proud of. But as the phrase goes “too much of a good thing can be bad for you” and I wonder whether as a sector we have normalised an unhealthy level of self-sacrifice.
Throughout my twenty-year career in the third sector, I have been very bad at recognising and having my own needs met. This always played second fiddle to the loud and strong desire within me to achieve more, receive praise, and please those around me (do good!).
I’ve always been driven by a core belief in the importance of fairness, in helping create a fair and just world; but I had a hidden drive toward external validation and a lack of self-esteem which was dampened by the moments of success as a fundraiser. “I must be a good person. Look at all the good things I’m doing!”
But there is a shadow side: late nights, taking work home at the weekends, the overcommitting, saying yes when you should say no, persevering through sickness, not resting or eating properly, the people pleasing, the care taking, the sugar coating. Driven by a need to care and do good, do we actually end up limiting our impact?
Like many others in the sector, I have gone through regular cycles of overwhelm and burnout, and this was probably the main barrier to me being an effective fundraiser and leader. So my invitation to you, dear reader – if you have stuck with me to the end of this article – is to get curious about your own relationship with selfishness and selflessness and to ask yourself this question: Where might I be giving away too much of myself, and could I be more effective if I gave equal attention to my own needs?
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I’m Matt, a Transformative Coach for leaders in the charity sector who want to create impact without paying a personal cost.
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